it's link time!

I've been saving up a bunch of links that I want to share with you... I hope you find these useful/encouraging/challenging as I did.  Happy reading!


Living Intentionally


Six Reasons I Love Living in a Small House by Jill Winger

Why Do I Have THIS Stuff?  Building a Sharing Community by Lindsay Edmonds



Adoption & Abortion Issues


How Some Kids with a Van are Changing the Pro-Life Movement by Kristen Walker


50 Ways to Help Unborn Babies and Their Mothers by Randy Alcorn

Don't You Already Have Kids?  Adding to Your Existing Family Through Adoption by Randy Stinson

Dating/Marriage/Motherhood
 
Guidlines for Sexual Purity by Randy Alcorn

A Challenge to Women by John Piper


The Mommy Wars by Carolyn McCulley

Kids Don't Retrofit by Candice Watters


Your Children Want YOU by April Perry


Don't Carpe Diem by Glennon Melton


Women with More Kids Live Longer by Kathleen Gilbert


Why I Never Should Have Had Eight Children by Leila Miller

Inspiring Lives

The Story of Ian & Larissa by John Piper

Pray for Ian (Ian & Larissa's blog)

on dressing modestly: more from the Mahaneys

Much of the reading I've done on the topic of modesty is material written by various members of the Mahaney family: there is much on the topic of modesty on the girltalk blog (written by Carolyn Mahaney and her three married daughters), and a chapter of C.J. Mahaney's book Worldliness is devoted to the topic, as well.  I would highly recommend reading it all, but I know many of you probably don't have the time or interest for that!  However, on his blog in 2008, C.J. Mahaney posted seven excerpts from Modesty: God, My Heart, and Clothes -- the chapter from his book Worldliness.  You can click here to view part one of the series.  And since it's seven parts long, why not sit for five minutes every day, reading one part each day for a week?

If you are sitting there, rather skeptical of this family who is so into modesty, wondering just how out-of-date they must be... let me tell you that quite the opposite is true!  They are way more trendy that I ever am (okay, I know that doesn't say much!).  But really.  Check out the about page of their website to learn a little more about the ladies at girltalk.

Some practical suggestions about modesty still to come...

on dressing modestly: a mini-series

I've been wanting to write about modest dress for a while now, but writing about modesty in the middle of winter (for most of you) seemed a little unnecessary.  Or at least less-necessary.  But now it is April and spring is on it's way for many of you.  And for some of us, the hot weather never ended.  :)

There are so many angles from which you could address the issue of modesty.  But rather than me expanding on any number of arguments, let me share with you the thoughts of John Calvin, via the girltalk blog.  (Because if anyone knows about fashion, it would be John Calvin, right?)

As we stand in front of the dressing room mirror or our closet at home, John Calvin, the great reformer, has two questions for us. In short, he wonders, what do our clothes say about our relationship to God?

“Where is our gratefulness toward God for our clothing if in the sumptuousness of our apparel we both admire ourselves and despise others, if with its elegance and glitter we prepare ourselves for shameless conduct?”

and

“Where is our recognition of God if our minds be fixed upon the splendor of our apparel? For many so enslave all their senses to delights that the mind lies overwhelmed.” (HT: Justin Taylor)

If other words, what brazen ungratefulness is expressed if we proudly admire ourselves for the clothing God has provided, if we dress to attract the attention and admiration of others instead of drawing their attention to God, and worst of all, if we dress to “allure men sexually?” What kind of “thank you” is this to God for His good gift of attractive, comfortable, and warm clothing?

And how can our minds be fixed upon the goodness and the glory of God if they are consumed with thoughts of what we wear? If we are preoccupied with the latest fashions, which (like the grass) will be here today and gone tomorrow, how can we worship and love the eternal Savior with all our minds?

(original girltalk blog post September 10, 2008, found here)

I'll most some ideas, suggestions, links, and more articles on modest dress in the next few days...

I've let things slip

It's been happening for a while now, but I finally realized just how much I've let things slip.  Reading my Bible and spending regular time with God has really not been a priority in my life lately.  And it's been that way for a while now.  And really truly, it's not that I didn't have time to spend with God, it's that I didn't make it a priority.  I had lots of time to blog daily and bake yummy treats for my family, but sitting still before my Maker?  Nope, just wasn't happening.  But I see it now.  And I'm so thankful that He pointed it out.  And so did Stew.  What a good husband I have--looking out for me like that.

So we've decided to change our morning routine to allow space for my quiet time at the outset of the day, instead of me just trying to cram it in somewhere.  I've been wanting to make family breakfast more of an intentional, scheduled time together anyways.  7:00am is now family breakfast time, and my quiet time (with Stew watching Micah) follows at 7:30.  Breakfast conveniently comes first, so that I am actually awake and can drink my coffee while I sit with God.  It's perfect.  And I know Stew will help me keep from getting distracted and actually take the time to be quiet.  He's so good to me.

This morning was our first go at our new morning routine and it worked pretty good.  It was really a great way to start our day!  And, for the first time in ages, Micah only woke up at 7am!  He's been sleeping in wonderfully these past few days.  We actually awoke at 6:55 to our alarm, for the first time in who knows how long.  Funny that I even still set an alarm! 

So today I feel refreshed, from a good night's sleep and quality time with my Maker.  Wonderful.

preparing for motherhood

Yesterday I posted a quote about the importance of preparing for motherhood. The best preparation for motherhood is spiritual preparation. All of our mothering efforts are meaningless if not infused with Christ and His gospel.

However, I also believe it is important to prepare in practical ways for motherhood too. Whether you're a student, engaged, married without kids, or already a mother, there are so many ways you can prepare practically. Here are some of the ways I prepared myself for motherhood and my role as a wife (and some ways I am still growing in my mothering skills):

-volunteering in children's ministry at church
-college courses about children's ministry, especially about their spiritual development
-babysitting
-reading books about biblical womanhood
-learned to cook and learned to love cooking
-ask older, wiser godly women (how did you get your children to ____? is a question I often ask!) Since I have a godly Mom, she's often the first target for my questions.
-I found a couple godly families with well-behaved children and spent time with them. Sometimes I would ask questions, and sometimes I just observed.

If you're already a Mom, how did you learn your mothering skills? Any tips to pass on to new moms, or moms-to-be? Or are there ways that you wish you had prepared yourself more? If you're not yet a Mom, are there ways you are preparing yourself for this future role? Please leave a comment!!

there is no nobler career

"There is no nobler career than that of motherhood at its best. There are no possibilities greater, and in no other sphere does failure bring more serious penalties. With what diligence then should she prepare herself for such a task. If the mechanic who is to work with 'things' must study at technical school, if the doctor into whose skilled hands will be entrusted human lives, must go through medical school . . . how much more should the mother who is fashioning the souls of the men and women of tomorrow, learn at the highest of all schools and from the Master-Sculptor Himself, God. To attempt this task, unprepared and untrained is tragic, and its results affect generations to come. On the other hand there is no higher height to which humanity can attain than that occupied by a converted, heaven-inspired, praying mother."

-anonymous, quoted by Elisabeth Elliot in The Shaping of a Christian Family, p. 122

give a saint back to God

When parents receive a child from the hand of God, they receive a life to be shaped and molded--most of that shaping and molding taking place, psychologists say, during the first seven years (and some say by far the most impressionable years are the first three). Their job, in the words of Janet Erskine Stuart, is 'to give a saint back to God'. Who is sufficient for these things? This small package of living flesh, with their blood coursing through its tiny veins, their features alarmingly recognizable on the wizened face; real, workable fingers, ten of them, capable of a damp, hot, strong grip on one of theirs; lungs that can produce the most heartbreakingly soft coos and unbearably harsh cries; skin so smooth, so silky, so tender you want to weep when you touch it. And they are responsible for this? Solely responsible--to give a saint back to God!
-Elisabeth Elliot, in her book, The Shaping of a Christian Family, p. 125

Stewart and I feel keenly our responsibility to live and parent in such a way as "to give a saint back to God". This is an immense task--not one we are ready or willing to entrust to just anyone. This is a large part of why I don't plan on returning to a full-time, away-from-home job as long as we have children around our home. We don't want to leave the spiritual training and influencing of our children up to someone else. No one can tailor their teaching directly to meet my child's spiritual and developmental needs the way we can. Stewart and I know our child best, and we want to keep it that way. We realize that is in the day-to-day living, teachable moments, and modelling a life devoted to following Christ, that we will influence Micah. We strongly believe that evenings and weekends spent with our child are simply not enough to accomplish this, particularly during these first few years of life.

I know that financially it is not possible for every mother to stay at home with her children full-time. Please do not feel condemnation if you are someone who needs to work to make ends meet. That is not my intent. However, I also know that looking carefully at our situation, there would be many who would say that this past year I should have worked to help out financially. No matter how tight things got financially, we decided that Stewart would work, and I would stay at home, caring for Micah. We live simply, and we made sacrifices--but God always provided all that we needed.

Children are a blessing from the Lord. The responsibility of parenthood is not to be take lightly. Stewart and I have chosen to make our family a priority--over our careers, finances, even ministry. Our ministry, careers, or financial stability will not matter, if in the end our children choose to not follow Jesus. We feel that we must do everything in our power to influence our children towards Christ--'to give a saint back to God'.

**Theologically, we believe in election: we are God's children because He chose us before the beginning of time, not because we chose Him, or our parents did a good job of parenting us. But we also believe in predestination: that God has chosen us as Micah's parents to be the primary communicators of the gospel to him, in both word and deed. And after we've done all we can, we must trust Him, knowing they are in His capable hands.**

the life of grace in children

The spirit of faith and piety of the parents should be regarded as the most powerful means for the preservation, upbringing, and strengthening of the life of grace in children.

-Theophan the Recluse

silly houseplants

I've struggled for a long time with fear. There. Now you all know. :)

So, these past few days I've been reading through a book on biblical womanhood called Fearlessly Feminine, by Jani Ortlund. I've read a lot of similar material, so truth be told, I'm skipping around a lot and really skimming. But I came across chapter three, where she deals with the issue of fear. Again, I've heard a lot of her points before; I know I need to trust God and leave it all in His hands. I know. But it's still hard.

Then I came across this illustration, which helped put it in perspective for me:

"Imagine going into my child's room to kiss him goodnight only to find him crying fitfully into his pillow. When I question him, he tells me that he's afraid he'll be thirsty tomorrow. I almost laugh at his worry, but instead I calmly assure him that if I water our houseplants--silly houseplants that sometimes die after only a few months--then of course I will make sure that my precious, darling, beloved child has enough water to drink. A loving parent delights in providing for his child. Even so, our heavenly Father knows our needs, and He will take care of them according to His good and wise will" (pp 64-5).

This isn't new information (it's based on Jesus' teaching in Matthew 6). But this little parable really brought Jesus' teaching to life for me. Of course God will care and provide for me. I'm His daughter, whom He cherishes. It's silly to doubt and fear, and question "will God provide?" or "what if _____ happens?". As Jani puts it, God's will is "good and wise".

Just as I will take care of Micah, making sure he has what he needs, I can rest in the truth that God is taking care of me. But unlike me, who is often confused as to what Micah needs (like this morning when he was crying... clean bum? check. well fed? check. tired? nope. teething? already gave him medicine. what could be wrong??), the best part is that God knows what I need better than even I do. He's not sitting in heaven, trying to figure out what I could need. He knows me. His will is good and wise. And I can rest in it.


(I think I just defeated the whole "Wordless Wednesday" thing...)

make motherhood a ministry

If you are a mother, want to be a mother, are married to a mother, or married to someone who wants to be a mother, or want to be married to someone who will one day be a mother... read this!

I just came across a brief video/article of John Piper answering the question: "Is it OK for mothers to work full-time outside the home?" I love his response.

You can watch the video, or read it, here.

it's all about intentionality

I've posted before (briefly, as part of this post) about my struggle with finding time for God in the midst of the craziness of my life, especially now with a baby. My Auntie Laurie had some really encouraging words for me. She writes:

I learned very soon after having my second baby that spending time with Jesus did not necessarily mean having a specific time each day to sit and read the Word and pray. What it really meant was talking to Him throughout the day, while cleaning the toilet, while breastfeeding, while folding laundry. A girlfriend told me God often spoke to her while she was cleaning the toilet. That's just the reality of being a mom of babies. We don't have the luxury of planning our days and sticking to specific schedules. For awhile I had a devotional by the toilet, so when I was sitting on the toilet I could read a verse or two. That would be it for the day. Many days went by without me being in the Word. I would play worship music. I learned to commune with Jesus moment be moment, and to not feel guilty for not being in the Word. He anointed us to be moms. He knows our frame, that we are dust.
Blessings, Auntie Laurie

I was so encouraged by her words! But I also know that there are times in my day when I probably could put in more effort to dig into Scripture, yet I don't. Today I came across a blog post challenging Moms to be intentional about time with God. Holly shares six practical tips on making space and time for God in your regular, crazy life. They are:

1. First, think through the last 48 hrs. Any time-stealers come to mind? Facebook, Twitter, TV, email, Internet, phone calls, or texts? Make sure the enemy isn't robbing you of God-moments by offering a "harmless" substitute.

2. Time with the Lord takes intentional planning when you have a full, noisy, busy house. Some days, gather your kids around and read a passage to them. If you can make it interesting to listen to, you might get through several verses. Write a few verses out and leave them in the kitchen, laundry room, or car so you can contemplate as you cook, fold, or wait for your kids.

3. Place Bibles in several spots around your house so anytime you do get to sit down you can snatch a verse or two to ponder.

4. Use the first few minutes of nap time to get rest for your spirit. You probably won't be reading chapters or books at one sitting, but the Lord can use even snippets to instruct and encourage your heart. If you have kids who no longer nap, make a quiet zone where they can read or color while the little ones sleep and you get refreshed. Occasionally, this will actually work!!

5. Escape for a few minutes if you can after your husband gets home or right after dinner. I have had quiet times on picnic tables at the park, in my car at Sonic, on my driveway sitting in my car, and in my laundry room or closet.

6. Practice God's presence "in the midst" of your crazy days. He doesn't leave because your life is hectic. He can minister grace to your heart as you comfort that child or chop veggies for dinner or sort dirty socks. Christ knew what it was like to wash dirty feet. He is not absent when we are surrounded by lots of them! Remember that the Lord had many moments when He sought to draw apart to seek the Father. Sometimes that happened, sometimes He was moved with compassion and returned to the multitudes. His heart was to do the will of His Father every moment of every day, but He didn't live apart, He lived in the midst.

7. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and discernment as you discover what will work for your family. Since it is God's will for you to know Him, ask Him to enable you to creatively pursue that in this season of your life. God's Word is eternal. The lives of those who come to know Him are eternal. Houses, stuff, and even time will all pass away. We won't regret time invested in His Word and in raising our kids to love Christ.

That last part really hit me. "We won't regret time invested in His Word and in raising our kids to live Christ." Of course! How can I raise my kid(s) to know and love Christ, if I am not knowing and loving Christ and modeling for them what it means to know and love Christ? If I am not pursuing Christ, while teaching my kids to pursue Christ, I am a hypocrite!!

I'm also realizing more and more my need to give up the idea of reading long sections of Scripture and meditating quietly on them! I need to embrace the idea of snatching a few verses at a time, a few moments in prayer, convening with God here and there throughout my day.

I also need to remember something else that Holly wrote: "God declares in His Word that your kids are a blessing and a gift. They are not an interruption, a mistake, or a hindrance to God's will in your life; they are God's will for your life." Amen!

a quote from John Piper

I've been reading and re-reading this quote for a while, and I think it's time to share it.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of your living room as a launching pad for new life and hope and ministry and mission!
-John Piper

I think this is very true, and I desire that it be true of me, and the use of my house.

Blogs of Note: girltalk

If you don't already read the girltalk blog, you should. Carolyn Mahaney and her three daughters, Nicole, Janelle, and Kristin, blog together about biblical femininity, and its practical outworkings.

I'm loving their current feature - 52home. Each day they post a new photo of their everyday lives. They write, "Our hope is that you’ll see your own ordinary, yet glorious life in these pictures. That you’ll glimpse the faithfulness of God that undergirds his faithful ones. That you’ll see reflections of the eternal in the everyday."

Visit their blog here.

just being ME

I received a loving rebuke just now. From Jesus. Via the ladies at the girltalk blog.

It's so easy to look at other young moms and think "wow, they really have it all together". Or "wow, they are soooo creative and artistic". Or "they are such a good mom". Rather than simply appreciating how amazing my friends are, I compare myself and somehow in my mind, I never measure up.

I will never be as creative, artistic, talented, (etc!) as my friends, because I am not them! I am ME. I have different gifts. Sometimes I just need a gentle rebuke that me is good. I don't have to be like others. I am not others. I am ME. And Jesus didn't give me all the same gifts as He gave my friends. I need to be thankful for the gifts He has given ME. I need to spend more time being ME, and becoming a better ME, and stop trying to be just like YOU!

Women: A Renewing of the Mind

Okay, so it's been more than two weeks since I posted about the Renewing of the Mind challenge. I'm finally sitting at my computer ready to post (okay... I'm sitting on the couch with Micah on my lap nursing, and my computer beside me...typing with one hand. It's slow going!).

So, things didn't go quite as well for me as I had hoped. I did manage to avoid false messages about womanhood, for the most part (or as much as you realistically can in today's world without becoming a hermit!). But I had difficulty spending more time reading/listening to Esther, Ruth, and Proverbs. I listened to the rest of Mark Driscoll's sermons on women in Proverbs, listened to Ruth on the audio Bible, and studied the first half of Esther. At this point in my life, it's much easier to listen, than read... although "listening" does not always mean "focused listening"!

So here are some of my thoughts:

PROVERBS
-it is such a privilege to be able to be a stay-at-home wife and mother!!!!
-as a Mom, it is primarily my job to raise and influence my children for Christ, and this is a huge and awesome task!
-everything I do is either building up or tearing down my husband - and I want to be intentional about building him up and NOT tearing him down!
-being a wife and being a Mom who loves God, follows Him, and lives biblically, is a ministry!! I am not any less involved in ministry now... in fact I am in full-time ministry, serving the Lord!

Listening to those sermons about femininity in Proverbs really encouraged and challenged me to live intentionally in ways that will build up my husband and kids. I want to be a biblical wife and mother!

RUTH
-okay, this is lame, but I have no real thoughts on Ruth. My study of Ruth was a definite weak point!

ESTHER
-I was really impressed by Esther's obedience and respect for authority.
-In what seems to me like really hard circumstances, she did her best. She didn't whine and complain and try to get out of it... she put her heart into it, and I think she glorified God in the way she responded to her circumstances.
-Although this isn't explicit in the text, I think Esther had high trust in God. She called a fast, knowing that her situation (and that of the Jews) was out of their control, and they needed God to intervene.
-Esther was bold and courageous! She went in to see the King, uninvited, knowing it could bring her death.

THE RESULT
Spending these two weeks intentionally avoiding false messages and filling my mind with the truth, really filled me with a sensitivity about, and distaste for the world's perspective on women. I feel inspired and ready to live intentionally and biblically as a wife and mother, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

well, that's all for now. Micah is long since done eating, and I need to go. But if you participated, please leave a comment! I'd love to hear what you learned!

Women: A Renewing of the Mind

I’ve been listening through parts of Pastor Mark Driscoll’s Proverbs sermon series, and today I listened to Women and Femininity. Near the end, he calls women to a renewing of the mind. Here’s the challenge (slightly revised):

FAST from tv, secular radio, music, women’s magazines, romance novels, etc... anything that is a source of false messages regarding womanhood and biblical femininity.
READ the books of Proverbs, Ruth, and Esther - repeatedly. Keep a pen, highlighter, and notebook handy, and STUDY these books.
Do this for TWO WEEKS.

I’ve decided to commit myself to doing this. However, being realistic, having a new baby means that I will listen to these books (audio Bible), more than read them. But still I will do my best to take notes and make observations.

Why am I telling you this?

First, because I need some accountability. If I just do this without telling anyone, my plans will probably fail. Second, I’m hoping some of you will join me!

So here’s the deal: if you decide to take the renewing of the mind challenge, leave a comment to let me know. Then, at the end of the two weeks, I’ll post again, and you’ll have a chance to leave a comment again, letting us all know about your progress and any observations you have, etc. And of course, if you’d rather, you can comment anonymously.

Let’s make the official start date tomorrow, February 4, and we’ll end on February 17. I’ll do my best to post with my observations the next day, February 18.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask that you will prompt those whom you want to be a part of this. Use this time of focused study to open our eyes to Your will for our lives as women. Grow our understanding of biblical femininity and how You want us to live. Guide us in Your truth.
In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen!