post-baby body image: a shared struggle

Life after baby is blissful in many ways.  The smiles, cooing, snuggles, the warmth of sweet baby breath. And then you look in the mirror.  A quick glance is okay, but if you linger too long, it's easy to have your self-esteem come crashing to the floor around you.

Most days I can handle it.  "I have four kids, and really overall I'm doing pretty good" I find myself thinking.  Of course I'm going to look a little different than I used to.  I don't expect, or even want, to get into my tiny-size-four clothes from before I ever was pregnant.  But some days, especially when I just can't find something that fits right, it's easy to lose perspective.  Shopping was so easy when anything I tried on seemed to look good. I guess twenty-year-old-never-had-babies bodies are like that.

But now, instead of a twenty-year-old-never-had-babies body, I find myself in an almost-thirty-carried-and-birthed-four-babies body, and it doesn't look quite the same.  Things have rearranged and stretched and all-around gotten bigger.  It's not all bad, by any means.  But it is different, and change can be hard.

"I look at my body in the mirror, and the familiar internal conversation begins. First there is the still present feeling of surprise. That’s me? Then comes the uncontrollable feeling of disgust constricting my throat. But on its heels the thought: wait a minute, these scars are sacred, they represent one of the most significant stories within my story, something I don’t want to forget, and there, right there is evidence of my own rebirth into something more. But I hardly take a breath before my hands are moving to my stomach to stretch it out flat and make it look like a long-gone me. If I could just change this one part…" (These are the Lines of a Story by Mary Martin Wiens).

I write this simply to say: you are not alone.  I believe this is a struggle we all share.  We've had babies and our bodies will never be the same.  Nor should they be.  My hope is that the more we talk about the struggle, the more we encourage one another, flaws and all, the more normal and acceptable our post-baby bodies will be.

To end, a quote from one of my favourite authors, Rachel Jankovic:

"...our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form.  Let it be used.  By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dinted body.  Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used.  Those are the right kind of damages. ... Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work. ... So realize that your body is a testimony to the world of God's design.  Carry the extra weight joyfully until you can lose it joyfully.  Carry the scars joyfully as you carry the fruit of them. Do not resent the the damages that your children left on your body.  Just like a guitar mellows and sounds better with age and scratches, so your body can more fully praise God having been used for His purposes. So don't resent it, enjoy it." (Loving the Little Years, pp. 58-60).