things are never as they seem

Despite being told at my first appointment with the specialist (regarding the antibody I have) that everything was fine and there would be no complications... I've since found out otherwise.  Not so much that there will be further complications, but that further complications isn't something they have ruled out.  Great.

We were totally under the impression that I was free and clear and everything was normal.  However, when I went in for my 20-week ultrasound the specialist told me that despite everything looking great, he wants to keep an eye on me due to the unpredictable nature of the antibody.  The antibody that is supposed to be a non-event.  I now will see him every 6 weeks, or more often.

Since that appointment I also discovered that Canadian Blood Services wants to continue monitoring me as well.  So now I get to give them three vials of blood monthly until baby comes.

I am really hoping and praying that this won't become something more.  That in all their looking and monitoring they won't suddenly find something.  I really feel like sometimes modern medicine and all the monitoring that happens just means people are looking for potential problems that would be fine (and cause much less stress) if left unnoticed.  (I know... modern medicine has it's place and has done a lot for me and my babies... I'm well aware.)

And the journey continues... one ultrasound and one blood test at a time.  For now, I feel a little bit like a ticking time bomb, waiting for the first symptoms of ... something.  Itchiness from cholestasis, my water breaking early,  or some random symptom indicating something going wrong with this antibody.  So I keep hoping, praying, and trying to trust, knowing full well that God has this under control.  Each of our babies have been strong and healthy despite the circumstances of their births.  But this uncertainty is just so hard in the meantime.